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 Post subject: A few poker jokes to keep you amused
PostPosted: Wed May 27, 2009 10:22 pm 
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Some cowboys were…playing poker in an Old West saloon. One of them laid down the winning hand, and another jumped up, yelling, “He’s cheatin! He aint playin the cards I dealt him!”


A man comes home…from his weekly poker game late. His annoying wife is waiting for him. “Where the heck have you been?”

“Sorry, but I lost you in a poker game. You’ll have to leave.”

“How did you manage that, you fool?”

“It wasn’t easy. I had to fold a royal flush.”

Tommy had a…serious gambling problem and was a terrible poker player too. Every time he came home from the casino, his wife asked how much he lost.

One night, he didn’t come home at all. Finally, he staggered in at 9 AM. His wife started in on him, but he cut her off. “I have to confess. I got drunk at the bar last night and went home with a beautiful cocktail waitress.”

“Don’t give me that bull,” she replied. “How much did you lose last night?”


From the new hand nicknames department…AK: Anna Kournikova. Looks great. Never wins.

The regular Friday night…poker game was going on when John lost $500 on a single hand, had a heart attack, and died. “Who’s going to tell his wife?” They drew cards, and Bill drew the low card. He knocked on John’s door and told his wife, “John lost $500 at poker tonight.”

She turns red and yells, “Tell that $#*^_^ to DROP DEAD!”

Bill walks away sheepishly and says, “I’ll tell him.”


Image


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 1:36 pm 
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That picture is hillarious


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 11:18 pm 
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Oh man! I'm totally shocked about Granny! A poker fanatic?

Ahahaha!


Last edited by bogartkick on Sat Aug 29, 2009 1:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 26, 2009 11:39 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 8:31 pm
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Location: Edmonton, AB
A professor is giving a lecture on muscle spasms in biology class and can see that his class is losing interest in the topic. He tries to engage the class and asks a woman at the front of the class:

"Miss? Do you know what your asshole is doing while you are having an orgasm?"

She replies "Yeah, he's playing 3/6 holdem with his friends"


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2009 4:07 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 26, 2004 5:38 pm
Posts: 4469
Location: Michigan
:shock: :shock:

:rofl: :rofl:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Aug 30, 2009 11:18 am 
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Well, this may not be a poker joke, but it would fall under the "MY FAVORITE POKEHER JOKE" category.

Cowboy gets married and takes his new bride to a hotel.
I need a really nice room with a really strong bed, he tells the desk clerk. I just got married.
The desk clerk gives him a wink and says " I,ll see what we have available"
He checks his registration book and says to the cowboy...It must be your lucky day... how bout the bridal ?
Cowboy thinks for a minute and says...
Nah, I,ll just hold on to her ears till she gets used to it.


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 5:02 am 
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:roll:

Awesome picture, LOL


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 2:15 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 01, 2006 6:15 am
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Location: England
stompint wrote:
"MY FAVORITE POKEHER JOKE" category.


:D


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 4:41 am 
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Joined: Mon Nov 23, 2009 9:49 pm
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very amusing


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2009 1:53 am 
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Joined: Wed Nov 25, 2009 1:32 am
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This is one of my favorites - short and sweet also

Pizza Delivery:

Q: How do you get a professional poker player off your front porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.


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 Post subject: Re: A few poker jokes to keep you amused
PostPosted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 6:03 am 
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Joined: Mon Nov 08, 2010 5:57 am
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Lolz nice jokes...


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 Post subject: Re: A few poker jokes to keep you amused
PostPosted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 10:30 am 
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Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2011 10:21 am
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DurrBadBeat wrote:
Some cowboys were…playing poker in an Old West saloon. One of them laid down the winning hand, and another jumped up, yelling, “He’s cheatin! He aint playin the cards I dealt him!”


A man comes home…from his weekly poker game late. His annoying wife is waiting for him. “Where the heck have you been?”

“Sorry, but I lost you in a poker game. You’ll have to leave.”

“How did you manage that, you fool?”

“It wasn’t easy. I had to fold a royal flush.”

Tommy had a…serious gambling problem and was a terrible poker player too. Every time he came home from the casino, his wife asked how much he lost.

One night, he didn’t come home at all. Finally, he staggered in at 9 AM. His wife started in on him, but he cut her off. “I have to confess. I got drunk at the bar last night and went home with a beautiful cocktail waitress.”

“Don’t give me that bull,” she replied. “How much did you lose last night?”


From the new hand nicknames department…AK: Anna Kournikova. Looks great. Never wins.

The regular Friday night…poker game was going on when John lost $500 on a single hand, had a heart attack, and died. “Who’s going to tell his wife?” They drew cards, and Bill drew the low card. He knocked on John’s door and told his wife, “John lost $500 at poker tonight.”

She turns red and yells, “Tell that $#*^_^ to DROP DEAD!”

Bill walks away sheepishly and says, “I’ll tell him.”


Image



OOps what a picture is this, :P


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 Post subject: Re: A few poker jokes to keep you amused
PostPosted: Sat Mar 25, 2017 6:07 pm 
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Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2017 5:51 pm
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very amusing


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


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